A better day

October 22....the weather is supposed to be cooler today, this afternoon. I cheerfully look forward to wearing my two new old navy sweatshirts. To hide in? maybe....to feel warm, toastly and comforted, YES....My depression is not so horrible today. It appears as if taking a bit more of my meds has been helpful. That and taking yesterday off. The meetings are boring me. Something is amiss. PErhaps God forbid it is I. lol...lol...I am ok with it. When I fail to get what I need in meetings I look elsewhere. Sometimes elsewhere is inward. I look inward to myself an my God. I trust the answers will be there. For whatever phase I go through I go through it not alone.

Ugggh

Depression, negative thinking.....It has been the content of my weekend....I think too much. I worry too much. I have dark and weedy thoughts, past present and future. Staying in the moment is unreal. Words, ideas, goodness are fleeting. Chapters are finished. What is left. Food is my friend yet it is my worst enemy. I start again today.....I am hopeful. Sort of.

My first blog....

What does blog stand for? Today, Saturday, I sit here wondering what good this will do me? Shall it be a place for random journals? perhaps a place to meet others with similar likes/dislikes? Will anyone even read it? Im not in my usual state of mind today nor have I been for the past week. Suppose it might be several things that I'm powerless over. Friendships, illnesses, electric, my child, her husband, my sister.....I believe my feelings of powerlessness have become somewhat overwhelming, to the point of bringing me to a place in my mind, where I am still, where I am listening to God. I know this too shall pass but who will I become once the passing? I wait somewhat fearfully, somewhat questioning; "what next"......I know that I believe in God. I believe that I will be ok no matter what.